Fun With Torturing Gasser
by A Rose From Mariko
Summary: The title basically seys it all. Gasser will never want to see the light of day after this.


**Me: Hi there everyone! This is my first fic ever! I was actually given this idea by my big cousin Tsukimomo, who is here with me right now!!**

**Tsuki: Why do I have to be a part of this, Marie?**

**Me: Cos I said so, got it?**

**Tsuki: DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!**

**Me: Oh and just because you're older than me that means you get to boss me about?**

**Tsuki: Yes. Now do the disclaimer otherwise every review I send you for the rest of your life will have a random weirdo in it that jumps out of the computer and begin to beat you up.**

**Me: Fine, fine. I don't own Bobobo. I just wished my aunt didn't own Tsuki otherwise she wouldn't be here. **

**Tsuki: That's it, I'm outta here!**

**Me: Wait! This fic is all about torturing Gas-Can!**

**Tsuki: It is? I'm staying!**

**- - -**

_Gasser walks on stage. Spot light shines on him._

Me: This is Gasser.

Gasser: Hi.

Me: Gasser is fourteen and has a crush on Beauty.

Gasser: NO I DON'T!!

Me: Gasser hair is spiky because when he was born, he was born the other way around.

Gasser: HEEEEEY! How did she know that?

Me: Gasser is scared of Barney the Dinosaur.

Gasser: That's insane! I'm not scared of Barney the Dinosaur!!

_Author places life size replica of Barney the Dinosaur next to Gasser._

Gasser: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! BARNEY THE DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Did you know, Gasser has a shower instead of a bathtub because he's scared of water?

Gasser: No I'm not!!!

Me: Gasser also wears pink furry underwear.

Gasser: YOU'RE CRAZY!!!!!!!!

Me: Why thankyou.

Gasser: That wasn't a compliment!!!!!!!

Me: Gasser is scared of spiders.

Gasser: Ha! Is if I'd be scared of spiders.

_Author starts chasing Gasser in a spider costume._

Gasser: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SPIIIDERRR!

Me: And now to read a page from Gasser's diary.

Gasser: Ah! Where'd you get that?!

Me: It was in your pant pocket. And now, I command you, Diary. Read to us a page written in you!

Diary: Certainly. 'Last night, a had the greatest dream ever. I was with Beauty. Our lips pressed together. They felt so light and delicate.'

Gasser: That's not true! I didn't write that!!

Me: Thankyou for that, Diary. This just in! Gasser likes to lick other peoples feet!

Gasser: That is gross! You need some help!

Me: But I'm not hurt or anything.

Gasser: Not that kind of help.

Me: Do you envy Hatenkou?

Gasser: No. Why?

Me: Really? Cos I heard that Beauty is _**so**_ into Hatenkou.Yep. I feel sorry for you

Gasser: But...No way! I'm not gonna believe you! Almost everything you've said about me is a lie. The only things that you got right are my name and age.

Me: And you have a crush on Beauty.

Gasser: And I have a crush on Beau- NO I DON'T!!

Me: You don't like Beauty?

Gasser: No way.

Me: (Hugging Beauty) Don't worry, Beauty. He didn't mean it.

Gasser: What the? Beauty what are you doing here?

Beauty: (Actually Bobobo dressed up as Beauty but Gasser doesn't know yet) You said you didn't like me! I'll hate you forever!!

Gasser: Wait you're not Beauty!! Mr. Bobobo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE BEAUTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bobobo: (Still dressed as Beauty) How could you say I look like Bobobo! I'm much more prettier than him! I'm leaving!

_Bobobo walks of the stage __**still**__ dressed as Beauty while crying._

Gasser: Could this day get any worse than it already is?

Me: (Eating tofu dipped in miso on a stick) Hey Gasser? Why does every girl in this playboy magazine have Beauty's face stuck over the original face?

Gasser: Where the heck did you get that!?!?!?!?!?!

Me: In your pocket along with your diary.

Gasser: I wanna die, T.T

Me: This just in! Gasser is a cry baby emo!

Gasser: I'm not a cry baby emo!

Me: Hey Gasser, you dropped this photo of Beauty in the shower.

Gasser: Ahhh! Hey give that back!! I paid a lot of money for that!

_Gasser starts chasing the author._

Me: Whaah! Why'd you have to pick on the little guy!?

Gasser: You're not even a guy!

Me: I don't care!! It's not fair!! You're picking on me!

Gasser: That's exactly what you've been doing to me all day!!!!!!

Me: I know. Beauty!!!

_Beauty walks onto the stage. Author hides behind Beauty._

Beauty: What is it Marie?

Me: (Fake tears) Gasser's picking on me!

Gasser: That's a lie and you know it! You're the one who's been picking on me all day!

Beauty: Gas-Can, how dare you pick on Marie. (Cracks knuckles) You are _so _gonna pay.

_Beauty begins to chase Gasser._

Me: Well folks that's all we have time for. Bye bye now.

- - -

**Me: Wasn't that awesome!?**

**Tsuki: I've seen better.**

**Me: It ain't fair! Why did you have to look after me tonight?**

**Tsuki: Cos Aunty Shirley paid me.**

**Me: Please review! I could do with another friend.**


End file.
